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One day closer...

Spent the day with John yesterday.

He finally got the pictures of my Hawaii trip. Glad that he liked  them. *Smiles*

We are finally opening up to each other about things that bother us about things in the past.

I have learned things that have hurt but glad that he told me. He has heard things that have hurt him also. But if we want to move ahead then those issues had to be dealt with.

Summer is just rigth around the corner.. Its already in the 90's here..

Work is busier than ever and since I took a semster off from college. I will start back next quarter..

Over the past 5 months there has been so many  high points and low points in my life

I am still madly in love with John.. :)

Went to Hawaii for a Easter and to spend sometime in the sun.. The time difference really sucked when it came to calling John or him calling me while I was there. But we made it work..

We spend hours on the phone talking about the past and all the past relationships that we both have had.. The past mistakes that we both have made in them..

I'm know that he isn't perfect and he doesn't claim to be either. Nor am i .

There are people that seem to think they know more than I do  about him. Thats ok let them think that. They think that I am making a mistake by being with John.. Well its my life and I  will do as I please.

Got the cutest email from John's daughter a while back. I do think that his ex-wife is a nice person we have talked on the phone a few times earlier in the year and she is happy that John and i are together. So is his mom who i talk to all the time . Looks like things will work out  for us..

Happy and in love

Once again

all talk..

She said she would send me a list of blocked emails.. sent her an email saying please send them..

So the reason you didn't send them was 1) John told you not to. 2) You forgot to . 3) decided not to  cause you didn't want to make any trouble.. so which is it.. Let me guess You called or emailed John and John told you not to talk to me or send me anything..
Or did John call or email You and tell you not to send them..

not trying to be bitchy  , but you were the one that said you would send them if i asked and i asked and nothing..


Well i took half of my ethics final yesterday  i will take the other half on friday,  i have to ace this final. There is so much hanging me passing this final with am "A" . i need it to pass the class so that i can take ethics 2 so that i can graduate in early January  and then move to Charlotte

Oct. 20th, 2008

Most of my posts will be set to just friends.. 

She's back



i hope that W/we don't fight today or that i  do something to get punished and He punishes me by not talking to me until sometime tomorrow . That has happened the last 2 or 3 weekends and it has made me think that He is meeting somebody on fridays. i know its silly . i know i am just being silly .

One day i will stop being silly .
Wonder what He is thinking about?

Wonder  what's wrong ?

i asked once and didn't get an answer . guess he doesn';t want me to know whats the matter..

its ok i am His submissive and if He wants me to know he will tell  me ..


  that when He does go out he will come back home to me. That He isn't going out because He wants to get away from me. Or that He is looking to hook up with some slut. That He loves only me and wants only me.


He tells me that He got or had a silly thought this afternoon that caused Him to want to leave His apartment.  When i asked Him what He had thought about He told me to nevermind.

W/we are suppose to not have an secrets from each other.

Now I am going to wonder why He He wont tell me and what it was..

It will take time...

For Him to forgive me. If He ever does.

i can only hope that He will one day.
i miss hearing Him tell me that He loves me. 
i know that He is hurting . If it was me it would hurt me also.   when  He posted a picture in a group of Him with His arm around another woman ,  felt like my heart was breaking . i can image how He felt when He read what i wrote.
if i were to read that on someones site it would have broke me.

i NEVER meant to hurt Him .

When they say "Sticks and Stones may break y bones and words will never hurt me is a total lie.
Cause words do hurt and at times even more than sticks and stones do .

He is very right saying sorry isn't enough this time, i will prove to Him that i do love Him and only Him . That i want  Him as my Master and the man that i spend the rest of my life with.



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May 2009


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